I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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