forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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