theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
