I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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