Barsexuality is the new black.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
