it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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