Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
