things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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