life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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