there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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