Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
True strength comes from lack of pants
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