yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
