There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
