we have officially lost it.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
