i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
