never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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