fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
