There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
