the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
