There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
