so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
