I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
