There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
