i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
