Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
