Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
