Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
