my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
