Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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