you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
