Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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