Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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