she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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