I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
