He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
