Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
