Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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