I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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