There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
