Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
