what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
