i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
