TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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