I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
