i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
