why didn't you poke me back
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
