Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
