What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
