The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
