: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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