I hate all girls vehemently.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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