these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
