So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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