i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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