I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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